so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
