i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
