my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Too much gin, very little bucket
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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