my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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