Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
