Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
