R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
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She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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