I don't remember. Are we still dating?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
