no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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