no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
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He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
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I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.