God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
23 People Confess The Lamest Things They’ve Ever Done To Fit In
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
These 27 Texts Prove Pets Make Better BFFs Than Humans
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle