Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
