Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
