The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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