she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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