Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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