I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
