In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
