so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
