and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
