I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
i came on her dog
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
