So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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