You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
