So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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