a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
