Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
