The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
He felt like a one man threesome
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
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