Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
