i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize
