no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
