cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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