My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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