"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize
