Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
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