I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
