I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
