i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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