Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
