Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
