I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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