New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
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