I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
