She's JV to your varsity
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
