i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
