Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
