I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
