watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
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