when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
