Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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