You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
