that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize