You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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