so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
