You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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