office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"