Texts From Last Night

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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better

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  (570): I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better http://tfl.nu/a0xl
  Replies (15) Good night (3488) Bad night (489)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator

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  (503): The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator http://tfl.nu/5qfu
  Replies (37) Good night (523) Bad night (5297)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel

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  (215): she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel http://tfl.nu/yxdc
  Replies (16) Good night (535) Bad night (4004)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet

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  (307): All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet http://tfl.nu/uky8
  Replies (6) Good night (917) Bad night (2128)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.

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  (813): He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand. http://tfl.nu/9yan
  Replies (10) Good night (952) Bad night (3274)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick

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  (484): Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick http://tfl.nu/a0s8
  Replies (6) Good night (756) Bad night (2087)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key

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  (609): Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key http://tfl.nu/pj3h
  Replies (7) Good night (1891) Bad night (672)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water

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  (405): You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water http://tfl.nu/d1ur
  Replies (5) Good night (1523) Bad night (583)
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  (510): View more from California

  You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.

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  (510): You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us. http://tfl.nu/8vs9
  Replies (7) Good night (561) Bad night (699)
• Favorite

  (951): View more from California

  We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.

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  (951): We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here. http://tfl.nu/55bx
  Replies (4) Good night (386) Bad night (516)
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.

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  (604): Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele. http://tfl.nu/5la0
  Replies (1) Good night (820) Bad night (243)
• Favorite

  (563): View more from Iowa

  I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.

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  (563): I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused. http://tfl.nu/bg7n
  Replies (6) Good night (581) Bad night (397)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"

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  (954): After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr" http://tfl.nu/5atv
  Replies (5) Good night (437) Bad night (188)
• Favorite

  (347): View more from New York

  Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..

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  (347): Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that.. http://tfl.nu/n8po
  Replies (4) Good night (403) Bad night (286)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.

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  (585): When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME. http://tfl.nu/uv1z
  Replies (4) Good night (874) Bad night (149)

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