Texts From Last Night

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  (516): View more from New York

  I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.

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  (516): I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen. http://tfl.nu/vaik
  Replies (13) Good night (1466) Bad night (3814)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.

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  (740): Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level. http://tfl.nu/r4mw
  Replies (21) Good night (4456) Bad night (780)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.

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  (515): in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch. http://tfl.nu/88o7
  Replies (20) Good night (10444) Bad night (1105)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.

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  (206): dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement. http://tfl.nu/2u7j
  Replies (29) Good night (2672) Bad night (4904)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.

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  (917): i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past. http://tfl.nu/eita
  Replies (4) Good night (2534) Bad night (1797)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice

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  (512): Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice http://tfl.nu/6dv2
  Replies (8) Good night (3130) Bad night (779)
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  (458): View more from Oregon

  I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.

  (350): View more from

  You are my idol.

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  (458): I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation. (350): You are my idol. http://tfl.nu/xq85
  Replies (21) Good night (3426) Bad night (1065)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.

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  (778): She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up. http://tfl.nu/0zw1
  Replies (4) Good night (1187) Bad night (732)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?

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  (832): I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested? http://tfl.nu/a21v
  Replies (7) Good night (2132) Bad night (594)
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.

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  (865): So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall. http://tfl.nu/00be
  Replies (2) Good night (1232) Bad night (440)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  You need Xanax blowdarts

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  (513): You need Xanax blowdarts http://tfl.nu/5mba
  Replies (3) Good night (670) Bad night (365)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?

  (330): View more from Ohio

  Come on... He's just practicing.

  (614): View more from Ohio

  Ok. That's acceptable.

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  (614): When are you going to accept the fact he is gay? (330): Come on... He's just practicing. (614): Ok. That's acceptable. http://tfl.nu/xi9n
  Replies (3) Good night (527) Bad night (394)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?

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  (573): It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night? http://tfl.nu/nbyh
  Replies (1) Good night (591) Bad night (711)
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  (631): View more from New York

  Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.

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  (631): Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds. http://tfl.nu/5z67
  Replies (0) Good night (704) Bad night (264)
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  (805): View more from California

  Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.

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  (805): Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night. http://tfl.nu/49d4
  Replies (3) Good night (458) Bad night (198)

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