Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)

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(315): View more from New York

That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"

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(914): View more from New York

No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?

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(904): View more from Florida

Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.

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(734): View more from Michigan

it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party

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(850): View more from Florida

Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.

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(507): View more from Minnesota

2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest

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(404): View more from Georgia

I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.

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(802): View more from Vermont

It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind

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