awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.