Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Randomize