my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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