sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize