it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
