I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize