Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
he fucked my hip out of place.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
