yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
