I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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