Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
